Terri’s Journey

Just heard from the transplant center. My insurance has approved the transplant evaluation and my appointment has been set. I have a three day appointment starting June 25 and ending June 27. This is all outpatient and the three days are pretty full! Relieved! Yes, very relieved! Terri

I had a bit of a “bright light” moment during worship this morning. As my hands were raised high, and my head tilted back, and I was singing, this question popped into my head. “Why, God, do I keep pushing you back?” I can tell you, I was truly puzzled. I was, after all, in the midst of an amazing worship service and I was participating full heartedly. Or was I? I asked God to show me what was going on. Memory after memory of friends and family praying for me to be healed came to mind. But also, my internal thoughts came to mind. I want to clarify something very quickly...and it’s a pretty important clarification. I believe God still heals today. I’ve seen it with my own eyes and I’ve experienced it too. I’ve had the privilege of praying with many who God chose to heal in that moment. I rejoiced with them...and watched as God continued to reveal Himself in some amazing ways to them. But I’ve also prayed for many who weren’t healed in the way I believed and hoped for. I know it’s ...

We walked into my doctor’s office with total peace today. No anxiety. No worries. Not a question in mind that God has all of this in His control. I know that for some, it’s hard to understand. I’ve been asked if I was mad at God for letting all of this happen to me...first cirrhosis and now liver cancer. I’ve been challenged by some to consider if there’s anything I’ve done wrong that could have caused this. Can I answer both of those with this one answer? I trust Him! I truly and fully trust God with everything I am and ever will be. I know He’s for me and not against me. In everything I give Him thanks...even this stuff. Do I shake and cry? You betcha. And then I take a breath and tell Him how amazing He is, turn up my praise music and sing at the top of my lungs. He is worthy to be praised. So with that...what is the plan? Doug and I were given two options. Option one was to start the transplant evaluation process and to get listed as soon as the cancer tumor reaches 2 cm or if ...

Have you ever been in a situation where you should be shaking in your shoes but you’re not? I’m here. It’s real.  It’s amazing and wonderful.  This is the night before my appointment to discover what my doctor has decided is the best course of action to treat the HCC and the colon mass and the only thing I can do is sit here and praise God and grin. My heart is full. My head is clear. I have full peace that God has this under control and it’s going to be just fine.  The funny thing is I really can’t tell you what I’m hoping the doctor will say tomorrow. I really don’t. I have no expectations.  I know that no matter what, I’m loved by my Heavenly Father and I can hold onto full confidence that whatever I hear, He’s with me.  I hope that whatever you’re going through that God’s peace which surpasses all understanding will do that for you as well.  Terri

It would seem like I would now be an expert at waiting. It’s been 9 months ago that I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cirrhosis of the Liver after my gallbladder surgery. Waiting for biopsy results...waiting for test results...waiting to get in the hospital and waiting to get out. (3 hospital stays, 14 ER visits, unknown number of doctor visits, 2 surgeries, and 5 procedures). Then there were the very busy months in between waiting to feel normal again and realizing that “normal” isn’t normal anymore. Now I’m waiting again. Actually, we are waiting.  I’m not alone in this journey. My husband, Doug, is my Caregiver and has been with me every step of the way. This December we will celebrate 33 years of very happy marriage. I couldn’t do this walk of liver disease without him.  So what’s our wait now? Two things. On May 3, I went in for a routine EGD and colonoscopy. For those of you who don’t know, an EGD is a procedure that is done under light anesthesia where a scope is put dow...