Waiting...again.
It would seem like I would now be an expert at waiting. It’s been 9 months ago that I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cirrhosis of the Liver after my gallbladder surgery. Waiting for biopsy results...waiting for test results...waiting to get in the hospital and waiting to get out. (3 hospital stays, 14 ER visits, unknown number of doctor visits, 2 surgeries, and 5 procedures). Then there were the very busy months in between waiting to feel normal again and realizing that “normal” isn’t normal anymore. Now I’m waiting again. Actually, we are waiting.
I’m not alone in this journey. My husband, Doug, is my Caregiver and has been with me every step of the way. This December we will celebrate 33 years of very happy marriage. I couldn’t do this walk of liver disease without him.
So what’s our wait now? Two things. On May 3, I went in for a routine EGD and colonoscopy. For those of you who don’t know, an EGD is a procedure that is done under light anesthesia where a scope is put down your throat to look at the condition of your esophagus, stomach and small intestines. The doctor was looking for varicies...an enlarged vein that’s not supposed to be there, and found some. Fortunately, they aren’t bleeding yet. My doctor also did a colonoscopy at the same time. These are routine for me...I have them every 2-3 years. I was expecting polyps. I wasn’t expecting a 3 cm mass in my cecum (the area of the colon where the appendix is). It was biopsied and is benign at this point. I did meet with a colorectal surgeon. She’s waiting for my Hepatologist to clear me before she can remove the mass.
The other thing I’m waiting on...it’s a doozy. On May 11, I had a follow up CT scan. I have to have these every 6 months now that I’ve been diagnosed with cirrhosis. I have an appointment with my Hepatologist on June 5, so this was a preappointment test. It came back with the results of two lesions on my liver that are HCC...hepatocellular carcinoma. Yes, liver cancer. That’s why the colorectal surgeon wants to wait. My Hepatologist wants to meet with me next Tuesday, May 22. His words, “I don’t want to discuss this over the phone...we need a face to face to talk about the plan I have for you. And we will talk about the colon mass as well.” So I’m waiting.
Can I just say I’ve now discovered that I’m really bad at waiting. Since last Sunday evening when I first read the report, till I heard from the nurse Thursday night, till now...I’ve had multiple panic attacks and lots of anxiety. Today, I’m a lot better. I’ve cried. I’ve gotten mad. I’ve done lots of praying and I’ve done lots of stomping around and kicking at air (I have no thoughts of breaking a toe, thank you).
So we wait. I know the options. I know the best case scenarios and know what the worst is. I know what we are hoping for. My hope is to get put on the transplant list. That one thing would take care of both the cancer and the Cirrhosis. I can hope while I wait.
I’ve
Terri
I’m not alone in this journey. My husband, Doug, is my Caregiver and has been with me every step of the way. This December we will celebrate 33 years of very happy marriage. I couldn’t do this walk of liver disease without him.
So what’s our wait now? Two things. On May 3, I went in for a routine EGD and colonoscopy. For those of you who don’t know, an EGD is a procedure that is done under light anesthesia where a scope is put down your throat to look at the condition of your esophagus, stomach and small intestines. The doctor was looking for varicies...an enlarged vein that’s not supposed to be there, and found some. Fortunately, they aren’t bleeding yet. My doctor also did a colonoscopy at the same time. These are routine for me...I have them every 2-3 years. I was expecting polyps. I wasn’t expecting a 3 cm mass in my cecum (the area of the colon where the appendix is). It was biopsied and is benign at this point. I did meet with a colorectal surgeon. She’s waiting for my Hepatologist to clear me before she can remove the mass.
The other thing I’m waiting on...it’s a doozy. On May 11, I had a follow up CT scan. I have to have these every 6 months now that I’ve been diagnosed with cirrhosis. I have an appointment with my Hepatologist on June 5, so this was a preappointment test. It came back with the results of two lesions on my liver that are HCC...hepatocellular carcinoma. Yes, liver cancer. That’s why the colorectal surgeon wants to wait. My Hepatologist wants to meet with me next Tuesday, May 22. His words, “I don’t want to discuss this over the phone...we need a face to face to talk about the plan I have for you. And we will talk about the colon mass as well.” So I’m waiting.
Can I just say I’ve now discovered that I’m really bad at waiting. Since last Sunday evening when I first read the report, till I heard from the nurse Thursday night, till now...I’ve had multiple panic attacks and lots of anxiety. Today, I’m a lot better. I’ve cried. I’ve gotten mad. I’ve done lots of praying and I’ve done lots of stomping around and kicking at air (I have no thoughts of breaking a toe, thank you).
So we wait. I know the options. I know the best case scenarios and know what the worst is. I know what we are hoping for. My hope is to get put on the transplant list. That one thing would take care of both the cancer and the Cirrhosis. I can hope while I wait.
I’ve
Terri
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