Ordinary Day

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A friend posted on Facebook. It started like this... “You know you have chronic illness when...!” The replies afterwards were amusing but very true. I do pack a bag for my medication. I count it a good day when I get out of pajamas and put on normal clothes. I am known by name at the ER. And the list goes on. 

And then I got to thinking...I no longer have ordinary days. This statement isn’t to get sympathy. It isn’t to inform. It just is. 

Let me explain. A normal day for me is waking up and seeing how I feel. Am I nauseous. Am I dizzy. These days, I feel pretty good. It’s also taking nine different medications to start my day. It’s making sure I’m wearing the right kind of shoes...yesterday I wore flip flops and fought excruciating foot cramps until after midnight. It’ll teach me to walk around the San Antonio Riverwalk in the wrong shoes. Yes, I used to do it all the time but no more. It’s making sure I always have a jacket with me because I’m always cold. 

A normal day is watching my nutrition intake. The number of calories, the amount of protein. The amount of sodium. It’s saying no to stuff I used to love in favor of foods that will meet my needs. Lots of fresh veggies and fruit. Lean protein sources. Sufficient water to keep me hydrated. Have I actually eaten enough calories for today?

A normal  day is checking to see how many steps I’ve done. How long? Constant or with breaks. Have I worked any of my muscle groups?

A normal day is counting the number of times I’ve gone to the bathroom. It’s constantly checking for anything abnormal. My life depends on it. 

I’ve now also discovered something new about me. When I’m dealing with stress, I have social anxiety. It’s hard for me to be around people. It’s hard to answer the question, “How are you?”. It’s hard to explain the mixed feelings I go through. 

On Sunday, I chose to head towards a friend from my Online Support Group who is in Texas for a month. I needed a face to face with someone who understands...who Gets It! No explanations. We could talk about it...or not. We went out to eat and just hang out. When I didn’t eat everything, I didn’t have to explain why. She gets it. I needed an ordinary day. 

So when you see me...or Doug, no need to ask,  “How are you?”  We love hugs. We do love little notes and cards. We love seeing smiling faces. It’s the questions that we don’t always have answers for. 

Terri




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